Wintersun – The Forest Seasons

Do not buy this

I’d like to clear something up right away – under no circumstances should you buy this album new. Even if it was a good album I’d be saying to pick it up used or pirate it, because by buying it directly from the label you are supporting the petulant, entitled manchild Jari Mäenpää and all of his ridiculous antics. Buying this new means you are saying that the very notion of releasing an album purely out of spite because you couldn’t have your own studio built for you, or releasing half of an album after 8 years, or refusing to release the music you promised until a studio is funded by your fans is somehow acceptable.

Bringing up non-musical matters in this case is not only absolutely fair but also completely logical, necessary and above all, honest. To ‘focus on the music only’ is flagrantly disingenuous, as this album exists entirely because of Jari’s unbelievable sense of entitlement. He had no intention of recording this originally, but made it only so he could fund the construction of his own studio. Make no mistake people, this album is a stopgap released only so Jari could make more money to fuel his delusions. It is a piece of commercial fodder, and examining its musical contents reveals just how lazy and effortless it really is.

This album is in a similar style to his last album, that being fairly standard melodic death/power metal with a lighter but still prominent usage of synthesised orchestrations and an attempt at an epic atmosphere. This in theory is a good blend but it simply never comes together whenever Jari has a stab at it, because he never sticks to what he’s good at: high tempo short songs loaded with excellent hyper-melodic riffing, blasting drums and incredible guitar soloing with an optional usage of keyboards as a background instrument. He can’t pull off anything lengthy, slow or atmospheric because he can’t write good riffs in a slower, more grandiose style or compose keyboard parts that are interesting enough to be the focus of the music, and these songs are no exception.

Every song plods along with below average and sluggish riffs that are totally boring and unmemorable, with similarly bland drumming. The attempt at a darker and more stripped sound here means virtually no good soloing, removing the only saving grace of his weaker material. This also means that Jari’s substandard riffing has taken centre stage, compounding the issue of dull music by making its core completely unengaging. To make matters worse, while the keyboards are dialed back to a tolerable level they’re never used to great effect, with very few notable melodies or effective attempts to accent the music, instead chiming along with no consequence. The vocals aren’t up to the task either, as he sounds very bored when singing or growling. Even the worst of the last two albums had a better vocal performance from him, and it is a suitably boring performance for such boring and empty music.

In spite of the totally boring performances what kills this album is the approach to the songwriting. Given the mess that was Time I it is safe to say that Jari believes in the principle of ‘more = better’. This seems to be the only way he can work a climax into a song, because to do so he’ll just throw in some choirs and have more keys chiming. There’s no actual dynamics here, at least not in the sense of building and releasing tension through appropriate usage of instruments. He just increases the volume of all the bells and whistles, and it doesn’t work at all, as the music feels flat and dead whether it is loud or quiet. It’s a completely artificial approach that demonstrates why more layers and gloss can’t make up for good songwriting and atmosphere. There in fact is no atmosphere as a result of all the instrumental and structural deficiencies. The songs don’t even feel evocative of the seasons they represent, which is simply laughable.

Another issue is that the songs are *far* too long – each song could have each section cut in half and the effect would be the same. To compound this issue, riffs are repeated too much and not varied enough and songs ultimately go nowhere by the time they finally end, because they don’t conclude in a resounding or interesting way. However, the worst part is that it sounds as if each section of any song is just there so it ticks off a checklist. This is down to the fact that Jari can’t actually write long songs, because when he does he throws any idea he can think of into a song without making it all flow properly or fleshing each idea out, and the end result are songs that feel like a collection of unrelated ideas. There’s no rhyme or reason for a quiet bit or a choral part to be in the songs at all, other than because songs usually have them. Nothing really stitches them together, it all feels bizarrely disjointed and makes the songs tedious to listen to as they arbitrarily run through a set of tropes.

Ironically this album benefits greatly from not being recorded in a world class studio, because unlike Time I this isn’t completely drenched in overdone keyboards and the music doesn’t sound anywhere near as processed, digital and hollow. Instead it sports a typical modern sound, with slightly clicky drums and a fat and crunchy guitar tone. While the production means that the music doesn’t jump out at the listener at all, by the same token it isn’t obnoxiously noisy and actually has a relative sense of dynamics, which in turn makes it a little easier to take in. It must be stressed that this is all relative however – this is still a chore to sit through on account of the boring music as well as the abysmal song structuring. The album still has no dynamics in terms of mood or tension, only in terms of pure volume and layers.

I think Jari has his priorities all wrong. Given the decent production achieved on this album a new studio isn’t needed. Instead, Jari should use the money he extorted to hire some session musicians who can actually write some good music, because he clearly can’t anymore. It’s either that or he really didn’t try with this album because as mentioned previously it exists only so Jari can take more money to release music he should have released 5 years ago, and that is perhaps the most revolting thing about this album. It is one thing to make an album that is a cashgrab, but it’s quite another to make a cashgrab album that sounds like a cashgrab. It’s completely dull and effortless music by a spiteful, bitter man. Hopefully after this dreck and the entire crowdfunding fiasco we can forget about this idiot forever. What a colossal waste of time this album is – avoid.

Rating: 20%

Megadeth – Countdown to Extinction

‘This is it’

To say that Metallica completely changed the playing field when it came to metal and more specifically, commercially successful metal is an understatement. Its influence on future heavy music aside, it opened the floodgates for multiple genre mainstays and their imitators to release albums that were a drastic change in direction. Following its 1991 release Anthrax went grunge, Sepultura went groove, and Megadeth, in all of Dave Mustaine’s wide-eyed envy, took a similar approach to Metallica for this release. The two explore a lot of the same sonic territory, this came soon after Metallica and at an analogous point in Megadeth’s career, and the two share a lot of the same flaws. And since the two are so similar, I’ll get this out of the way – since people are so hasty to point out Metallica sold out and give the band crap, Megadeth did too. I don’t know what makes people give this album or the band more of a pass for the same sin, as Dave sold out hard here and the music suffered for it.

Like Metallica, this is a drastically simplified and scaled back album from the technical excellence, songwriting prowess and undiluted aggression displayed on this album’s 4 predecessors. Most of the material here is written in a fairly melodic heavy metal/hard rock style, though there are some speedier holdovers. Virtually every song here is simpler in every respect compared to before, being built around a verse-chorus structure with little deviation in that formula, and the songs are more focused on catchy choruses and the vocals than ever. Dave does a lot more melodic and clean singing here and his snarling, nasally voice sounds at odds with the accessible direction the band is going in, mainly as he hadn’t gotten used to singing in a more conventional and melodic fashion yet. He doesn’t really emote much outside of aggression and when shooting for a less aggressive feel he sounds like a fish out of water; not bad but certainly odd and awkward. It’s not a voice that is easy to get used to though once that happens he’s not so bothersome. The drumming and riffs meanwhile are more minimal, simplistic, and less aggressive than before, with the riffs taking on a heavy/groove metal character. The shorter songs means the solos are shorter too, though technically they still are up to scratch as they have a great deal of flash and taste to them. The change in style here isn’t a problem inherently, and unlike Metallica the band certainly don’t extend their songs to the point of tedium on this one. The problem here is another one that dogged that album though – the music reeks of wasted potential as many of the songs here simply aren’t that impressive and don’t serve up much to interest the listener or commit the songs to memory, perhaps caused by deliberate restraint on the band’s part and not being comfortable writing in a more accessible heavy metal style.

Much of the material here doesn’t pan out so well, mostly due to not having interesting instrumentation or vocals – these tracks aren’t bad or even that boring, just very plain and bland. There are a couple of quiet verse/loud chorus hard rock/heavy metal ballads (the title track, ‘Foreclosure of a Dream’) that progress in a very predictable fashion and don’t bring much to the table instrumentally or vocally beyond catchy choruses, which are admittedly some of the best on the album. On the heavier side of things, ‘This Was My Life’ and ‘Captive Honour’ go in one ear and out the other (beyond the latter’s stupid extended intro dialogue.) The band is obviously going for more hook-driven numbers but they don’t bring the riffs, energy or choruses to make the songs stick, and so they aren’t even catchy like the ballads. On the other hand, ‘Architecture of Aggression’ and ‘Psychotron’ clearly had more work put into them, featuring much stronger riffs that are more groove and thrash influenced. This stronger backbone the songs are built upon gives the songs and the choruses the energy and drive needed to stick. ‘Skin ‘O My Teeth’ and ‘High Speed Dirt’ are a pair of uptempo numbers here that take speed/thrash riffing and aggression and inject them into a condensed and hook-centric verse-chorus formula. ‘High Speed Dirt’ feels a tad unnecessary as it covers a lot of the same ground ‘Skin ‘O My Teeth’ did at the start of the album, but by virtue of having more energy, speed and aggression than a lot of the songs here it still remains a highlight.

To highlight how inconsistent the album gets, it manages to feature two of Megadeth’s best songs and one of their worst. ‘Symphony of Destruction’ is an amazing single, combining a beautifully simple, hard-edged heavy/groove metal riff that is impossible to forget with snarled verses and one of the best sung passages on the album in the form of its catchy chorus and an always welcome set of leads. It’s the best example of the condensed and commercial heavy/groove metal style on the album, and beats out nearly everything else in its field at the time. ‘Ashes in Your Mouth’ pretty much bucks every stylistic change seen here, being an amazing thrash epic that combines this album’s more melodic, hook-driven formula with the aggression and technicality found on the albums that came before it. It’s a very catchy song with an equally memorable and groovy main riff that has multiple phases to its construction, including a set of extended solos that form its bridge. It alone makes this more than worthy of any Megadeth fan’s collection and would not be out of place on Rust in Peace. However, there’s also the laughable and silly ‘Sweating Bullets’ which is inexplicably a popular song for the band. It’s truly a stain on the band’s catalogue; there’s nothing enjoyable about its crappy and tedious stop-start riff, the corny spoken word narration that form the verses or the descending melody that forms its irritating hook.

Ultimately like the album Dave wanted to replicate so badly, this winds up being a perfectly decent if inconsistent foray into commercial waters, and a waste of potential given what had come before it. It contains some of the band’s best and most iconic tracks but has a lot of filler to go with the killer, though even some of the weaker songs here are catchy and pleasant enough to work as mindless entertainment, and outside of ‘Sweating Bullets’ nothing here is skip-worthy. This is definitely essential for any Megadeth fan due to its highlights and place in history of the band and metal as a whole, but be prepared for a less than stellar effort.

Rating: 68%

Deicide – Insineratehymn


Deicide’s progression throughout their career is a unique one for a band of their type; rather than starting strong with a timeless debut and progressively getting worse they in general write good album after good album, with inexplicable misfires sandwiched between them. There was Once Upon the Cross; a boring dud released in between some of their finest works, and the dead patch in their discography during the first half of the 2000s that preceded their incredible return to form with The Stench of RedemptionInsineratehymn is one of the three albums that occupies this barren spot, and it’s a terrible excuse of an album.

The unduly lauded opener ‘Bible Basher’ is a pretty good snapshot of what the album is like as a whole – a few seconds of promise in the form of a melodic line or a faster section that is then discarded for mid-tempo chugging drudgery and unbearably tedious groove riffing that gets boring really quickly. I’m not opposed to groove riffing or chugging in principle but the band seemingly can’t make it work given how unmemorable and bland the guitar work is. The good part then makes a return at some point during the song, only to be discarded again for more groovy boredom. In addition, any sort of wit and intelligence to the lyrics has been tossed out of the window. Every song is like this, only the later tracks typically have some decent soloing here and there. There isn’t really any point on this album that will strike the listener as being… anything, really. It’s very bland and uninspired music, with the only real sense of identity coming from Benton’s deep barking which to his credit is as strong as it was on Serpents of the Light. However, this does little to save the album due to the uninspired music behind the vocals.

The music is also very still, with not enough development of ideas in a given song. Again, ‘Bible Basher’ makes for a good summary of the songwriting. While it does carry a few distinct sections they never manage to do anything with these ideas, simply coasting off of them for an arbitrary length before switching to something else. They manage to run out of ideas about halfway through and simply recycle past sections with little or no development. The songs range from 2 to 3 minutes and yet they still manage to become tiresome because of how stagnant the music is. A short song can coast off of a few ideas with enough energy but that just doesn’t happen because again, the music is burnt out and lazy. To make matters worse none of the music is memorable even with this level of repetition because of how lacklustre all the performances are, so after a song finishes boring you to death with the same set of chugs and boring grooves you can’t even take anything away from the experience.

Like all Deicide releases there’s very little variation in the general delivery and atmosphere, yet because of how weak the delivery is and because of how little atmosphere there is the album manages to overstay its welcome even though it barely breaks the half hour mark. There’s a reason this is known as one of their throwaways; it’s a dreadful album. The band also knew how much of a mistake this direction was, given that they started to add more and more of their classic style with subsequent albums instead of moving forward with the sound presented here. If that isn’t a good indicator that this album should simply be forgotten then I don’t know what is.

Rating: 28%

Mastodon – Crack the Skye

Impressively terrible 

This album is a travesty. It is well known at this point that Mastodon took their music in a completely different direction on this album; I have no problem with artists changing style, provided they pull it off properly. Nonetheless, albums like this are always risky – while I appreciate that some bands feel that they can’t take a sound any further, or their preferences can change, jumping into a completely new style after spending several years forging a niche in a completely different one rarely works out, as history will demonstrate. Even with this in mind though, it’s surprising that this album manages to be as bad as it is; as it has almost no redeeming qualities. What makes this even more disappointing is that this album follows Blood Mountain, which was honestly Mastodon’s entry into the pantheon of metal’s all-time greats.

On this album the band ditch their ballsy, riff-driven and energetic style of progressive/sludge metal in favour of a psychedelic, atmospheric and noodling approach to progressive rock/metal. There’s nothing inherently wrong with changing styles or this particular sound, but as you may have gathered that doesn’t happen here. The most crippling flaw to the music is a severe lack of focus and a drop in songwriting quality – songs never really reach a satisfying conclusion and dwell on ideas for too long with little development. The music lacks energy and can be very sluggish and plodding, with songs noodling too much and ending right where they began, as well as being too long for how little they manage to do. Songs take a long time to really get going at all, and they feel flat even when they do finally pick up any sort of steam. As a result this album is quite a chore to actively listen to, because it never presents enough ideas to keep you interested and even more damning is that it doesn’t allow the mind to wander in its atmosphere because the instrumentation and song structures are too limited to allow for an atmosphere. It’s too active to fade into the background but too boring to be focused on; unlike the prog-infused jams of past albums which had a lot more going for them in terms of activity, progression, dynamics and performances.

Not only is the music structured and paced in a flat and uninteresting manner, but the performances themselves manage to be completely dull at best and flat out irritating at worst. A common theme with the instrumentation is that it’s boring, with nothing captivating happening outside of the occasional aggressive riff. The music doesn’t really allow for the spastic drumming of old albums but here Brann goes too far the other way – there’s almost nothing to spice up his bare bones, unremarkable performance on this album. None of the riffs strike me as being particularly well written or interesting; certainly none stick in your memory and are nowhere near as aggressive as before, instead they’re utterly anaemic and flat. They occasionally play around with more psychedelic and hypnotic styles of riff which would be interesting if like the rest of the guitar work they weren’t run into the ground.

The most actively annoying element however is the vocal performance; the harsh vocals of their older material are completely gone and instead clean vocals are used throughout. In the past, Mastodon’s clean vocals were basically never used entirely throughout a song and the music was so active that they never became a particularly large part of the music as they weren’t exposed. They also wrote good vocal melodies to make the verses and hooks stick after just a few listens. However on this album, the band don’t manage a single good or memorable vocal melody outside of ‘Quintessence’s hook, which is a problem when the vocals take centre stage and are far more integral to the music at large. With the vocals being this upfront, it also shows just how bad the singing really is – the vocals sound really mushy, weak, whiny, nasally and blown out, almost like a bad impersonation of any number of modern hard rock/post-grunge/alt metal vocalists; Chad Gray comes to mind. As there’s no change-up in vocal style to speak of this becomes a big problem as the album wears on.

This is an awful album. It’s bad on its own terms and a colossal disappointment given what preceded it. The music feels very superficial too – at no point does it ever really develop or do anything of note. You might get some psychedelic noodling here and there but it comes across as though the band is just pandering to a more highbrow audience, and as a result the music reeks of fakery. It feels like the band is trying too hard to be something they’re not, and at the same time aren’t trying hard enough with the music itself. Compared to the hugely fun and energetic albums of old this comes across as tired and dull, and the band sound like they’re phoning it in. I’ll never know what they were really thinking, but given all the talk of wanting to make their music more fun with subsequent albums even they find this boring, and it shows. It’s shallow, annoying, unmemorable and dull, and I hate it.

Rating: 20%

Metallica – Metallica

Metallica go through the never

So this is it, the infamous eponymous effort from the band we all love to hate. Some things should be cleared up immediately – this is a sellout by the band (one of the few times that’s really applicable, to be honest) and this did kill off thrash completely (but the bloating it suffered towards the end of the ’80s was the major factor behind that.) However, selling out is a fairly minor sin by my judgement given that the music is the most important part of an album, and really an album can’t be blamed for others imitating it because it isn’t as if another band *has* to change style in the wake of a commercial behemoth such as this. No, this album’s flaws rest entirely on its restraint and lack of ambition.

As the cover art and album title symbolise, this album is very much geared towards simplification and minimalism, and at every turn this album is scaled down from its predecessor. Take for instance the drumming – Lars was at his peak around the last album with at least a smattering of more complex drum patterns, fills and double bass, whereas here his performance consists of simpler straight beats. The soloing has been toned down in technicality as well, with Hammett relying more on the wah pedal and having shorter slots to fit the shorter songs. The riffs for the most part are no longer highly aggressive or technical in the mould of their first 3 albums or droning and monolithic as was the case with …and Justice for All, rather they take on a highly simplified heavy/groove metal character with only a handful of riffs per song. While I can appreciate that all of this was done as they couldn’t take the sound of …and Justice for All any further, it feels as though the band plays it a bit too safe with most of the material, and this shows at just about every turn. The album never really surprises or challenges the listener akin to the more aggressive, thought-provoking and intelligent works, and more importantly the band members never really challenge themselves either.

This restraint also becomes apparent when the song structures and progressions are considered. Just about every single song is built upon a verse-chorus structure with no variation in this regard, and it’s clear that the hook is the focus of any given song. While it again would have been better if the band members had stretched themselves a bit more in this regard, the album doesn’t get stale as to their credit every single hook on this album and the vast majority of the riffs are memorable. At the same time however memorability can be attained through either repetition without progression or writing the best possible material, and unfortunately the band lean too heavily on the former, with a lot of songs being developed in a sluggish and flat manner. For example, the hit singles ‘Sad But True’ and ‘Enter Sandman’ simply don’t have enough musical ideas to justify their 5+ minute running times. The same can be said of ‘My Friend of Misery’ and perhaps even the acoustic ballad ‘Nothing Else Matters’, though the latter does have a rather touching feel to it and a superb solo from James. On his vocal performance – it is one of the only elements on this album that isn’t a considerable regression or otherwise mediocre. He retains most of the grit and bite to his voice but also deals with a fair amount of more standard singing which is pulled off well on a technical level – and as the ballads show his voice can be rather emotive as well.

In fact, it’s songs like ‘Nothing Else Matters’, ‘Wherever I May Roam’ and especially ‘The Unforgiven’ that highlight the flaws of this album more than anything else. These three songs (as well as ‘The God that Failed’) all feature fairly strong atmospheric qualities, with ‘Wherever I May Roam’ being an epic even by Metallica standards, and through these songs one can realise that this album is the first by Metallica to not have an overriding atmosphere throughout, which was present in spades on the last 4 releases. They do shoot for a darker feel across the album through the production, lyrics and sense of melody, and while there are flashes of this at points a lot of the material isn’t quite well written, ambitious or convincingly performed enough to really have an atmosphere in the way the aforementioned tracks do. It is also with these songs that one gets the sense that the band did the best that they could when writing them, which isn’t true of a lot of the other songs. This album is not a consistent listen, and a few tracks like the rather plain ‘Holier Than Thou’ could have easily been dropped to make it a more memorable and concise listening experience. The combination of being midtempo largely throughout and primarily being composed of simple, groovy riffs leaves variation at something of a premium, with about a third of this album’s tracks not really standing out in any particular way and not having enough of a personality to live up to the legacy of Metallica.

Despite me largely thrashing this album though, the band certainly did succeed in one department – solely as a piece of entertainment this is a well done and functional album. On a technical level the band never skips a beat, every single song is enjoyable while it is on (until one starts to think about the repetition or safeness of the material) and the production is perfect. I’ve never heard a metal album with such phenomenal production – everything on this album sounds crisp, as heavy as an anvil and full of life. If only such perfectionism could have been applied to the material, because as it is this album is the sound of an artist not being the best they could be and while it ticks most of the boxes it also reeks of wasted potential. It’s an important release for sure, and it’s not bad by any stretch, but it is fairly disappointing.

Rating: 75%

Havok – Conformicide

Wake up, sheeple

Another day, another boring modern thrash band releases another boring album. Once upon a time, Havok were a band with promise, but the depths they plumb with this release are new lows for a fairly notable and respected band such as them. This is a release that commits the cardinal sins of anything you might want to be entertained by – it’s boring, unmemorable and grating. I don’t know how anyone who critically evaluates musical substance could get any real enjoyment out of this beyond the primal response of head nodding and foot tapping.

This album has almost nothing going for it in the musical department beyond the most basal qualities of having lots of riffs, being somewhat aggressive and being metal. I expect more from an album than these barest traces of personality and/or identity, and Havok fail to deliver completely. There’s nothing special about the sound Havok employ here in any way, all this album amounts to musically is a restatement of the modern thrash metal template, with chugging yet brisk and slightly aggressive riffing and completely nondescript drumming and soloing, all wrapped up in a slight technical flair. It’s competently executed on a technical level, but that is what any listener would consider to be the pass mark for an album, and at no point does this aspire to be anything more. The album is at its core, completely generic and uncaptivating, which is a theme that runs through it somewhat. The sound of the album is problematic as well – the bass is a bit too prominent in the mix to the point where at times this album takes on completely forced-sounding funk-infused overtones like the first half of ‘F.P.C.’, and in fact the production in general is polished and slick. While the sound isn’t offensive it’s far too tame and sterile, which becomes apparent upon listening to how gutted the Pantera cover at the end of the album is (but any song will demonstrate this.) In addition, given that once again this is the standard for modern thrash albums the production doesn’t help this release in the identity department. The lack of identity and the lack of memorability that results banishes this release to the land of average modern thrash, deep within that oversaturated heap of a genre.

That said, there is one element that is distinctive (for the wrong reasons), and that is the vocal performance. It is far worse than on any album Havok have delivered. The vocals are a weak, thin and throat-splittingly raspy shout that sounds garbled and outright bad. One could argue that he sounds vitriolic and angry but he tries far too hard here and becomes difficult to take seriously. I wince at the pain these shrieks must cause him while performing, never mind the fact that despite the distortion of his voice the lyrics come through quite clearly. The album’s lyricism is intolerable, as the completely non-descript music on this album makes it come across as a vehicle for preaching as opposed to music for the sake of art, and intentional or not this feeling is impossible to shake. The problem is also in the message being delivered – it’s basically tinfoil-chewing new world order conspiracy theorist nonsense that every fractally wrong individual loves to blather on about combined with shallow non-conformist attitudes, and at no point does this album try to say anything remotely intelligent or interesting. The dumb message combined with the album’s condescending and preachy feel, the ubiquity of the lyrics and the blandness of the other performances shoves the lyrics to the forefront. This makes them very hard to avoid, and the album is quite a bit worse for it.

For an album that seemingly prides its own individuality this really does follow the pack; not just in terms of its music, but also in terms of the message it tries to convey as well. It is musically stale and lyrically reads like the ranting of an edgy 13 year old, two things any metal fan on the internet has had far too much experience with long before this came along. This combined with the appalling narrator makes for a listening experience that can be charitably described as ‘dreadful’. This is an unpleasant album that no one should really have to listen to for reasons other than deriding it. It is a totally uncaptivating and inconsequential work; a shameful display.

Rating: 28%

Nokturnal Mortum – Нехристь (NeChrist)

Гітлер любив слов’ян, правда?

I do wonder what the band was trying to achieve when they were writing this album. I’d say it’s a joke, where they’re trying to derive humour from playing music that is intentionally awful but I can’t be certain if this is the case, as so much effort has been put into being dreadful that it’s entirely possible that they actually think this is good music that people wanted to hear. It’s also possible that out of sheer hatred for the listener that they deliberately sought to craft the worst music imaginable. Regardless of their intent, this is a dreadful, offensively terrible album. It’s not so much a step down from the two preceding Nokturnal Mortum full lengths as it is a tumble down 10 flights of stairs from them – it’s a trainwreck which is full of ideas that are either too sloppily executed or stupid to ever work. Shit at its finest, thy name is NeChrist.

There are numerous glaring flaws with this album but the one that rises above all is how flat out… bad it sounds. The melodic sense of the riffs and keys is non-existent, with the melodies sounding like garbage throughout. Not a single riff will stick with you but the entire time a track is on they grate with how badly they’re constructed. The keys are a similar story and are literally thrown on top of the riffs with zero regard for how they go together, and indeed they do not mesh in any way whatsoever. The two layers clash against one another in a very unlikable way; it makes for truly ugly music in the worst possible sense. Don’t get me wrong here; I have no issue with amelodic, dissonant or otherwise ugly and abrasive music but this clearly wasn’t constructed as anything along the lines of Obscura and what not; it uses the same stylistic features of folk music and symphonic black metal as their past work while missing out on everything that makes those albums and the style as a whole appealing. Or to put it another way, they took their melody driven style and didn’t write any good melodies for it. Since this is the fabric of the music, it is rendered entirely worthless and awful; the album is a total non-starter.

And even when the keys and riffs aren’t grinding against one another (which seldom occurs) both manage to be wholly forgettable and bland; the same can be said of the overly simplistic, restrictive and generic thrash-inspired drumming (a substantial regression compared to the stellar drumming on Goat Horns) and the much weaker vocal performance that doesn’t take charge in the music as it usually would. On top of this are the folk sections, which sound less like traditional Ukrainian folk music and more like bad Southern American folk music. These sections are all over these tracks and sound terrible every single time. Throw on top of this what sounds like elephant flatulence at some points and shouts of ‘Yahoo!’ at others and the album goes from absurdly awful-sounding to downright comical.

Have I made my point yet? This is complete trash and I never want to hear it again.

Rating: 0%

Iron Maiden – No Prayer for the Dying

The sound of Iron Maiden dying

n spite of what their first seven albums would imply, not even the mighty Iron Maiden are infallible, and actually weathered out the ’90s with very little of their musical worth or dignity intact. While Blaze Bayley is rightfully singled out as the worst thing about the Iron Maiden albums of this time period, don’t think that the two Bruce Dickinson fronted albums from the earlier half of the decade were much better. Far from it in fact; while I’m not too fond of this band’s 2nd Dickinson era albums, it’s also pretty obvious to me that a release like No Prayer for the Dying is a far less creative and (quite amazingly) a more musically stagnant and tired-sounding effort. It represents the band quickly losing creative steam and poorly integrating some outside influence to the proceedings as well. This is easily one of the weakest Maiden albums, as well their most annoying.

The music isn’t especially far removed from their ’80s albums, but the songs nevertheless lack the larger-than-life quality presented on the 5 albums that came before this one; it was a mood achieved through complex songwriting and intelligent riff construction built around the omnipresent guitar harmonies. This is a considerably more stripped back, rock-infused album, and while this regression alone doesn’t make it a write-off the depths the band have plumbed is truly stunning. There is a near-total lack of high quality, memorable and thought out riffs and harmonies, with the guitars mostly playing bland metallic hard rock fodder that lacks any of the energy, atmosphere and intelligence of their older works. It’s very run of the mill and forgettable music, okay while it’s on but out of one’s memory a short while after the album has finished. That’s not to say it’s all bad though, with competent soloing in spite of the loss of Adrian Smith and Steve Harris’ usual bass guitar wizardry, but these plus points alone don’t save the album.

To make matters worse, Bruce Dickinson puts forward one his most irritating vocal performances. While his voice retains its range he too has taken on board some hard rock influence, resulting in a gravelly inflection to his singing. This isn’t a problem on its own, but as a result of this he seemingly can’t hit a good clean note or put melody into his voice, instead simply shouting over the music with little restraint. The relatively banal music no longer accommodates for any gravitas or passion Bruce might have been able to put into his singing, and the music’s lack of intrigue also makes this a more vocally oriented effort, further exacerbating these issues.

However, in spite of the mediocrity of the instruments and the bad vocals in front of them the real killer here is the songwriting, which is both a very large step down from before and bad even when this album is viewed in its own microcosm. The songs are largely flat and unengaging; there’s very little in the way of intelligence or nuance in the structuring of a lot of these songs. They all have a tendency to repeat themselves a lot and not go anywhere. There is a clear lack of focus and development in the musical ideas used in each track, and despite the relatively short lengths of all of these tracks they tend to meander and ride off one idea like a strong intro (you need look no further than ‘Tailgunner’ for an example of this.) There’s very little depth to the compositions or any sort of atmosphere. Few winners emerge from this album as a result; just about everything is simply too dull and shallow – certainly the title track is a decent half-ballad and ‘Mother Russia’ lacks Bruce’s awful singing but everything else is either textbook rockametal or a song with promise that goes nowhere, aside from the hilariously bad ‘Holy Smoke’ which sounds like an overly simplified punkish commercial track gone very wrong.

The repetitious nature of the songs does mean a few hooks are catchy (there’s a good reason ‘Bring Your Daughter…’ is a live staple and it isn’t because you want to remember it) but this can be said of any piece of music, memorability derived from good craftsmanship is a far more meaningful indicator of quality. The lyrics on this album are very poor, especially considering the poetry and epic stories Iron Maiden had delivered in the past. The aforementioned pseudo-classic is one case, but the incoherent ramblings of ‘Tailgunner’ or the mindless tripe of ‘Holy Smoke’ will serve as equally apt examples of their failure on the lyrical front – in fact only the title track and ‘Mother Russia’ have decent lyrics. And as a final insult even the production is a step down, with the drums having a dry sound to them and everything else sounding decidedly lifeless and tired. Quite how a band that was a bastion of excellence that redefined metal could crash and burn like this remains something of a mystery. It’s a tragic album this; the downfall of a heavy metal legend. Do not seek this out unless you wish to be irritated or saddened.

Rating: 38%

1349 – Revelations of the Black Flame

A failed experiment

This album marked the exact point where 1349 eschewed everything they had achieved with their previous 4 releases in favour of a drastic change to their established sound. I find this to be a potentially good manoeuvre as they’d taken their blast-filled style of old to its logical conclusion with Hellfire, yet at the same time I think it’s a risky one. As history has proven drastically changing style doesn’t always work for bands with a tried and true craft, because they’ve spent so much time perfecting one craft that a sudden shift often leads to a band playing a style they don’t care about as much (leading to a lack of energy and creativity for the style at hand) or know as much about because they’re newcomers to the style. This risk is amplified by the fact that the new sound displayed on this album is an experimental one, and as we know experiments by their very nature fail more than they succeed, as they’re a charge into the unknown. And it is with all this in mind that I have made up my mind on Revelations of the Black Flame – it is simply a failed experiment. It isn’t a forward thinking and innovative piece and it most assuredly isn’t their best.

As you may have guessed this is an experimental black metal album, with the experimentation being employed in two major ways – the heavy use of crawling dark ambient interludes between the black metal songs, and the unusually constructed, riffing with dissonant chords and an odd number of repetitions used during the black metal portions of the album. For what it’s worth though there isn’t that much that is ‘weird’ on this album; it is a marriage of droning dark ambient with slightly odd sounding black metal. One problem that can be gleaned from this is that these basic ideas are never taken to their conclusion; merely coming across as an aesthetic rather than part of an experimental core to the music. Everything on this album is for lack of a better word, standard. There isn’t a lot of thought or creativity put into this, it is merely an assembly of standard elements dressed up in an unusual way and comes across as shallow and trite. The album offers little beyond these basic elements and makes it very boring and unsatisfying to listen to, knowing that it could have been something more.

A bigger issue though is that the standard issue material at hand here is written in a lacklustre fashion. The songs are played with very little energy, instead being sluggish and droning in nature. The riffs are in fact the worst aspect of the album, because as soon as they come in the atmosphere set by the ambient sections is wrecked in favour of stilted and awkward black metal. Even worse though is that the songs take too long to get going and even at their most intense feel phoned in and tepid, as do the other performances. The pummelling battery Frost once delivered behind the kit is almost entirely gone, and the powerful and commanding voice of Ravn is now wholly irrelevant to the music at large, being simply some noise among the weak riffs and decent ambient. The songs themselves are flat and boring too – not only are they cut off at the knees due to the half-hearted performances but in general they lack a coherent structure or a satisfying conclusion of any sort, instead meandering for the majority of their respective running times and not achieving too much in the process. For songs that are so long, they never really manage to be memorable or have enough good ideas or structural intrigue to justify their lengths.

The whole album lacks any sort of fire or creativity, and at every turn reveals how poorly executed it is. From the structuring and pacing of the songs to the production right down to its very sound it doesn’t work all that well. The band simply didn’t try hard enough, which becomes apparent because while some individual sections are decent the album as one unit fails overall. The ambient parts for instance are good for what they are; if this were a purely dark ambient album it would at least turn out to be mediocre. As it stands though it is simply forgettable and awkwardly written black metal with some somewhat appealing window dressing, and while it isn’t worthless, it sure doesn’t offer much to a prospective listener. Whether this album turned out as it did due to a lack of knowledge or a lack of care when writing it, it stands as a great example of why experimentation isn’t always a good trait in music.

Rating: 33%

Dimmu Borgir – For All Tid

For Ass Tid

In general, Dimmu Borgir is a divisive entity. As well as receiving praise for their symphonic take on black metal, they’ve earned scorn in several circles (generally those of a more purist persuasion) for going against the genre’s ethos; a band with the intent of making relatively accessible and polished metal draped with superficial black metal influence. However, these same individuals will routinely point to For All Tid and its successor Stormblåst as being the definitive Dimmu Borgir albums. Frankly I don’t see it this way at all – as shallow and safe their later albums are, they are least competently executed, polished and well-crafted, which is more than can be said of their first two albums. This in particular easily stands as the worst Dimmu Borgir album, and while it isn’t an abomination it certainly isn’t worthy of its classic status. It has its moments but it almost seems as if the band stumbled upon these good ideas by chance given the general sloppiness and poor musical execution displayed on this album. It reeks of inexperience and overshooting one’s mark.

The production on this album is very poor – though lo-fi production is a common trope of the genre, there’s a certain degree of intelligence to giving an album raw production. If we look at say, Transilvanian Hunger, that album sounds as though the songs were written and performed specifically so the production can add to and complement the album’s atmosphere, with everything being drenched in static as to make the drums, vocals and riffs sound otherworldly and cryptic. The issue here is that like a lot of amateur black metal musicians, Dimmu Borgir made a serious blunder regarding the sound: the mistaking of a bad sound for a raw one. The guitars are overly thin and gunky, sounding sterile and vague all at once, as well as being too quiet. The drums are inconsequential in the mix, being a thin hissing click that blends into the background. The keyboards sound cheap, like a bad ’90s video game soundtrack. The bass and vocals are both too loud, with both obscuring the riffs with the continuous plugging of the former and the all-consuming reverb of the latter. As a result of this the album comes across as dated, unlike the timeless classics this band’s fellow countrymen were churning out around this time.

The band plays a friendlier and softer take on the black metal sound, with highly melodic riffs that don’t carry a lot of aggression and a notable keyboard presence that serve to sweeten up the package. However, despite this being an album built around guitar melodies few of them tend to be memorable, much to the detriment of the album. Partially this is because of the aforementioned obscuring of the riffs by the surrounding instruments but mainly this is down to them simply not being that well written or captivating. The same can be said of the keyboards, which are sadly underused on this album, despite being present throughout. They too play largely forgettable and uninteresting lines; which isn’t helped by the fact that they are simply an undercurrent to the rest of the music, one which can be ignored most of the time. The vocals are serviceable croaky black metal rasps, even if as stated they are mixed too loudly. The drumming however is simply awful, being uncertain and out of time. The drummer simply cannot blast for any given length of time, and completely wrecks any consistency this band might have achieved in a song.

The atmosphere on this album is an odd one; there’s a very distant and melancholic feel to some of the keyboard lines and melodies, particularly those in the title track or ‘Under korpens vinger’, which are the only songs which consistently retain a mood. The rest of the music, despite being fairly overwrought in aesthetic, evokes no real mood at all due to little meaningful use of the keyboards and not playing much worthwhile content to begin with. It is therefore no surprise to find that these two are the best songs on the album, along with the 5 minute intro ‘Det Nye Riket’ with its simple yet effective piano lines and sombre and low spoken word passages. ‘Glittertind’ is another clear highlight due to both its quality and it being an instrumental, as it can therefore escape the overly loud mood-wrecking vocal performance. It should be stated however that these are highlights relative to the rest of the album, and aren’t in any way standouts in the pantheon of black metal or this band’s own discography.

The real area where this album falls is the frankly nonsensical structuring and pacing of the songs. All of the songs on this album, even its standouts, seemingly meander about for the majority of their duration. The band generally shoehorn in a lot of differing passages at once, from the keys to rapid, blasting passages to bizarrely bouncing punk riffs and dissonant, traditional black metal riffs which don’t mix with the keys or the mood of the album at all – there are even synthesised flutes and other such effects that sound comical and ruin any atmosphere the music might otherwise have. Despite throwing several ideas into every song the band simply lack the expertise and vision to execute any of them with a particular level of finesse or compose any structured songs out of them. The performances feel uncertain and haphazard, as do the transitions from one passage to another. Songs never really reach a satisfying conclusion or resolve in any meaningful way and tend towards being two-dimensional, with no real intense or climactic passages to speak of. The band never gets their act together outside of a few solid songs, which are still marred by most of the aforementioned flaws.

The main arguments for this album appear to be derived from metaphors and aesthetics rather than any sort of meaningful musical elements. The songs wander about like someone who’s lost – but any sort of memorability and meaning to the majority of the material is lost due to the arcane structuring of the songs. The production may be hazy but it also sounds terrible and actually works against the mood in a lot of cases with its easily obscured guitars and poor mix. There’s almost nothing in the way of musical texture due to the overly sparse and underused keys as well as the forgettable riffing and the all too vague guitar tone. The wonky performances, particularly the drumming, leave the listener feeling as confused and uncertain of the album as the band obviously was while performing. It is clear that a lot of the more lacklustre material here could have been fairly solid songs had they been written by competent musicians (and similarly the decent songs here could have been made great) but any quality is simply lost in translation here. There’s better wandering and melodic black metal out there; don’t waste your time with this.

Rating: 30%

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